You have entered the domain of an Aly. A cup of tea is recommended for health reasons. Please tread carefully.
Asked by Anonymous
I did write a book, but I haven’t self-published! I don’t really plan to, either; the publishing industry is kind of a mess, but I’m a huge believer in the traditional publishing process and in small independent presses for a lot of varied reasons so when something’s ready for the publishing route, I’ll probably try to go that way instead.
I’ve actually written a few books, though they are all in various states of fit to be seen by the rest of society (and by “various states of fit to be seen” I mean a sliding scale of “eh, still needs some work” to “HIDE YOUR CHILDREN HIDE YOUR WIVES GET THE TORCHES WHY GOD WHY???”). The one I was referring to in those tags about the “two separate robbers breaking into the same house au” was the first book of probably many about Holly Gardener, a conservation artist/art thief. One of the key scenes in the book when she first meets Gabriel Renley, an ex-society boy/degenerate sleeze who is now also art thief (and clearly my absolute favorite). They meet while both stealing art from the same mansion during a summer cocktail party, and Holly ends up going to a hotel room with a man she just met for the first and only time in her life later that evening.
A few years later they are galavanting across Europe, stealing art together, getting married in increasingly ridiculous ceremonies for increasingly ridiculous “for the sake of the con, darling” reasons, and adopting a protégé who, to their intense horror, dislikes anything painted before 1914.
That’s not really what the first book is about at all— it’s an introduction to Holly, her aliases, her associates, and her enemies, as well as some of her history and her relationship with her foil and mock nemesis, Detective Inspector Grey— but I really do love their marriage. They could never work with any other people— they’re both too narcissistic, too dramatic, too… I don’t know, sumptuous for other people. But together they work. It’s a hilariously healthy relationship for two con artists.
That was way more rambling than I needed to. Yeesh. Let me know if I didn’t actually answer your question!
for a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse.
this is not your destruction.
this is your b i r t h . (x)
The next time a man starts yelling at you, cut him off and tell him you just can’t talk to him when he’s being so emotional.
I have done this and can confirm that is a LOT of fun to watch them implode afterward.
Bonus points: Tell them you think it’s cute when they get so angry.
Extra credit: Tell them to “calm down.”
Bucky Barnes is a national hero. As iconic in his own way as Captain America, his name is synonymous with loyalty and sacrifice. Mourned nationwide, Sergeant James Barnes was first recipient of the Barnes Cross, a medal awarded posthumously to those who have lost their lives during acts of exceptional valor. First awarded in 1946, the Barnes Cross has had 48 recipients in its history, most recently to 2nd Lieutenant Jack Riley of the 58th Pararescue Squadron.